two months. 68 days, to be exact. I have two months (68 days, to be exact) until I leave Philly all alone (with 20 people) and take a transatlantic flight to London, where I will live and study for three and a half months. I don’t know if I’m being calm because I’m actually calm, or if I’m being calm because it’s right before the storm of nerves, fear, anxiety, and FEAR hits. did I mention fear?
now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not afraid of London, or flying, or being on my own. I’ve been to London (though only for two days), I’ve flown countless times, and I love being on my own. what I’m afraid of is what comes with being on my own: independence. I realize that’s confusing, but I guess until this point in my life, being “on my own” just meant staying home alone for a few nights in a house pre-filled with food by my parents when they go on vacation or something. studying abroad is actually being on my own. I have to trust and rely on myself to budget my own money and my own time, and that’s terrifying. this is adulthood before adulthood. I’m starting my junior year of college, I still live at home, and student loans still kind of seem like a distant nightmare slowly creeping up on me but that’s still far enough away that I can pretend it’s not there yet. studying in London is supposed to prepare me a little more for responsible grownup life, right? …right?
this blog will be used to document my trip. not only will I be in London, but I am also planning on traipsing across as much of Europe as I possibly can from September 1st until December 20th. until then, I’ll use this blog as an outlet for the anxieties of planning a trip as big as this and as an outlet for the really exciting parts that I want to share with you guys. and by “you guys” I mean my mom, who I talk to every day anyway. I love you, endless Internet void I’m screaming into.
to be continued. two months. 68 days, to be exact.